


that person we'll be holding close

by laughish



Category: Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Gen, Platonic Relationships, coming of age kind of????, tifa is just a big lesbian and cloud is her best friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:41:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24890086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laughish/pseuds/laughish
Summary: Tifa explores her ideals of love. Cloud is her friendly confidant.
Relationships: Jessie (Compilation of FFVII)/Undisclosed, Tifa Lockhart & Cloud Strife
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. who will it be

"Hey, Cloud, before you go," Tifa skipped up to him, looking light and radiant as ever and yet there was an awkward janky quality to her normal movements. Instead of bouncing and gliding, her movements moved like a basketball that hit the backboard and then made a halfhearted dribbling return to the middle of the court. Without warning, she grabbed his hand, and their hands were awkwardly linked just like that. Cloud's hand limp and Tifa's hand holding on, cold and a little clammy for reasons he couldn't guess.

"What are you doing?" Cloud finally asked after a few minutes of silence where they just sat on the windmill holding hands. Tifa sighed deeply and looked up at the stars. It was just like when Cloud first told her what he planned to do. A beautiful scenic night where she asked him to promise to save her if she needed it. Even though it had only been a month, that moment felt so far away when Cloud was going to be leaving in a week.

"Do you have any dreams for after you come back?" Tifa ignored his question and silently untangled their fingers to wipe her palm on her dress. Cloud's hand was limp on the coarse wood and Tifa put her hand back next to his, distance close to touching but not quite. "Like... A mental image of how your life will be?"

"Not really." Cloud eyed her hand from his periphery, regarding it with curiosity. "What about you?"

"Well, I want my future to be just like this. A thousand days of this." she motioned around them, the peaceful sound of the wind and the quiet chirping of crickets. The mildly balmy air indicative of Spring's bounty of rain was welcoming, if not familiarly uncomfortable to sit in. It wasn't hot enough to make someone sweat in place, but it wasn't ideal. "And I want to have it with my lifelong partner. Someone who outshines the stars in my eyes. Someone beautiful in a way that only I could ever appreciate."

"Hm." Cloud hummed, but he didn't really get it. He had big dreams and people he admired, but what Tifa described was so humble in comparison that he almost couldn't relate to it. Tifa fell silent again for a few moments before turning to look at Cloud, face tender with emotion, and yet she wasn't looking into his eyes with the same engagement as normal.

"I just... Can't see his face. I can't imagine a man, not even you. I thought that maybe that would change if I sat up here with you like this, but..." she heaved a sigh, her hand moving away from his to rub at her arm insecurely.

"Eh." Cloud shrugged nonchalantly, not quite sure what he was meant to do. His lackluster reaction got a small chuckle from Tifa, like she anticipated it and wanted nothing more from him.

"I just keep thinking about it. I can't get it out of my head. Some... Gorgeous lady. I want to hold her hand forever, but that's a bit much, isn't it? I mean, something like that isn't..."

"Does it matter?" Cloud finally turned and looked at her, bluntly skeptical of all things, without judgement for what she was saying, but how she was saying it.

"Well, I mean, I just thought that it was something I shouldn't think about-" Tifa leaned back a bit, not quite shrinking, but retreating ever so slightly. "I've never seen any old couples... Like that. It feels like it should be more natural for me to want to grow old with some man, but honestly? Even if it was you, I think I'd get sick of it." she giggled a bit, teasing him because that was all she could do when he acted so awkwardly. Cloud scratched the back of his neck at the last part, face burning with a twinge of embarrassment. He had wanted to impress her by becoming a SOLDIER, and yet in the end it seemed like she could only be impressed by his lack of social limberness.

"Well, it's not like having a wife instead of a husband changes anything." Cloud responded blankly, as if it were the obvious, most accepted answer. And perhaps he was right, because they lived in a backwater tiny town and Tifa didn't really know if she was really going to stay there her entire life, and it wasn't her responsibility to have children in such a tiny town if she didn't want to. The image around her didn't fit into her own image of the world she wanted for herself, and that made her incredibly apprehensive of her own feelings... But maybe Cloud was right. His simplistic answer brought a surprising amount of relief to her, at least.

"Really? I think it changes a lot." she challenged quietly with a small laugh. Cloud grunted, befuddled and not quite sure how to respond. In essence, he understood what was happening, and yet he couldn't help her to form the words or affirm her.

"If you ever think you want a husband, then tell me." Cloud finally settled on that statement of solace, not sure how it would come across and immediately realising how awful it sounded once it left his lips. He was awful at this sort of thing. Romance was one of the last things on his mind. Imagining a future, he didn't even take into account the idea of having a spouse. It sounded so far away...

"What is that? The same thing as asking me to save you a dance?" Tifa giggled because she understood where he was coming from, but it was such a low hanging fruit that she had to pick at it. Cloud's lips tugged into a small frown and he turned his face away from her eyes. They had lit up with amusement and a motherly affection in the same way his own mother's would when she told him to stay out of trouble.

"No thanks." Cloud denied vehemently, leaning away from her when she leaned in. Before he knew it, her head was on his shoulder and one of her arms linked with his. It wasn't as awkward as he thought. It wasn't as awkward as when she tried to hold his hand. She wasn't testing the waters, just... Silently thanking him for his closeness. He rarely ever reciprocated, but that was what made him her rock in the realest sense. He was completely unshaken, a heavy anchor that bluntly rebuffed doubt.

"Hey... If I ever start thinking about men, I'll let you know." Tifa finally stated, tacked on like some sort of afterthought. The idea was preposterous, something bound to become an inside joke sooner or later, but Cloud remained stony when she first said it.


	2. a few years from now

"So... Johnny." Cloud recalled that name, kicking dust up with his boots without regard for how dirty it would make them. Tifa sighed and crossed her arms as they walked. The tension from her previous statement felt like a thick scarf being wrapped around Cloud's head, making it difficult to breathe and feel at ease even if all they were doing was walking.

"He's... An interesting guy." Tifa stated. She didn't hate him, but his attention was rather unwanted. It felt mean to tell him off, so she just let it roll off of her like water on a duck's feathers. Being friendly to harmless fools was part of her trademark, something she learned to do once she started running Seventh Heaven. A springy girl who could beat you up in an instant, but was good natured enough not to.

"Are there lot of guys like him?" Cloud asked, and it was reasonable. He knew Tifa didn't care for men, but he was certain a lot of other people didn't. She was quite a beautiful young woman, but she cast her net out on the other side of the dock. Tifa laughed, and just like that, the scarf fell away and their friendly atmosphere returned, like cobwebs being swept away.

"Yeah, but not that many who are so funny... He's sweet, though. I hope he can find another girl to love." ever benevolent and ever-so-slightly motherly, Tifa didn't quite have it in her to be annoyed by Johnny's constant declarations of adoration towards her. He was much more amusing than the tipsy men who flirted with her during the evenings.

"You sound like an overbearing sister when you talk like that."

"I may as well be, especially to you." Tifa looked over her shoulder and winked. She definitely played the part well. Cloud already knew his way back to Seventh Heaven, but she still insisted on walking in front of him and guiding him through the slum streets like he was a lost child. Not to mention her little smile when she watched him pick up a gig or make some connections with the under city residents. If Cloud were in a slightly better place mentally, he may have thrown his head back and groaned like a long-suffering teenage brother being embarrassed by his big sister who came home from college.

"So..."

"What about you? Have you found anyone? You know..." she asked curiously because she had no recollection of Cloud really showing any interest in anyone in the time she'd known him. He seemed so ethereal in that sense, just content to drift around without much hurry for a lifelong partner. Cloud looked at her, confused for a second under her imploring gaze. He fit the puzzle pieces together slowly, and when he blinked, a strangely familiar flash of black hair flashed behind his eyelids... His head hurt. It felt like it was spinning and swelling at the same time.

"No...?" he answered, hand unconsciously pressing into his spiky hair. Tifa flashed him a concerned frown. Cloud started spacing out like that, looking disorientated and distressed. It worried her to see him do that, but she couldn't place a cause for it and Cloud always insisted that it was nothing and that he was fine.

"Ever thought about it?" she carried the conversation on as if nothing had happened because Cloud pretended that he didn't see how worried she was over him. They didn't need to have a serious chat about that in the middle of the cramped undercity streets.

"Not really. It's not something I care about." Cloud answered blankly. Tifa figured as much. She didn't really expect him to, and she didn't find it as strange as she did seven years ago. She grew up and she learned, slowly, about love and the ways it could manifest. Sometimes it didn't rear its head romantically, and that was just fine. Some people could do that, and it wasn't lonely because they were happy with that decision.

"You're pretty lucky then." Tifa laughed, recalling her search for love and her tentative pining. All those complicated feelings that had to be sorted through, the things that she had to negotiate... Romance was a hard thing to labour at, and half the time, those labours didn't contribute to something lifelong. She was still searching for that person, that beautiful lady she could wake up to and fall in love with every morning, over and over again. Cloud couldn't really consider himself lucky for a multitude of reasons, but maybe he really did dodge a bullet this time. Even from her small laugh, he could tell that she had done a lot in the pursuit of that figure she dreamed of.

"There's not a windmill or any stars to look at here..." Cloud pointed out, glancing up at the large metal sky and its fake suns. Tifa nodded, undaunted by that large change.

"Maybe you wouldn't get it, but you find other things to admire when you're in love." she recalled her short time with Jessie, a brief affair that was fun and ended so amicably that it was almost as if they could have never worried about dating at all. Right, she remembered how they found even the lanterns on the shabby slum houses to be charming when they strolled around at night. How cute the cats that slunk low to the ground under the scraps were... It was easy to see the beauty of the stars in anything when you were holding hands with someone you loved. If Cloud wanted that, Tifa hoped that he would be able to grasp it one day.

"I guess you don't have any news for me, then." Cloud asked, his tone flat but his eyes flashing with something akin to mischief. Tifa could only smile and shake her head, clasping her hands behind her back and leaning towards him.

"Seven years strong, still don't like boys." she informed sharply, like she was handing in a business report. For the first time since they had reunited, Cloud smiled.

She could have sworn he almost laughed too.


End file.
